Greatest signage in America.

(Shoutout...Clayton Warren)

Bing...worst search engine in America.

Rob Gronkowski...seen not wearing protective boot...great news in America.

Celine Dion...oldest lady legs in America.

Also, witchiest facial expression in America.

I am really starting to wonder...Jessica Simpson...pregnant or just becoming majorly overweight in America!?

Jackie Robinson was born January 31, 1919...first African American to play major league baseball in America.

Celebs not wearing make up and trying to look cool...ugliest idea in America.

Christina Aguilera...HAS to be the next candidate for the Jenny Craig celebrity spokesperson in America!?

Hawaiian formal wear is never okay in America.

Tom Selleck...forever the King of Mustaches in America.

Luby's...best cafeteria in America.

Also, Luby's mac and cheese is some of the best in America.

Fakest couple that ever was in America.

Kim Richards confesses...'I am an alcoholic'...most non-shocking statement America.

Demi Moore hospitalized for doing whip its...trashiest way to get high in America.

Oprah is announced as the God mother of Beyonce's completely fake baby...VOMIT in America.

Rihanna tattooed 'Thug Life' in pink on her fingers...she is also wearing a John Lennon Tee Shirt.

Rihanna...biggest poser in America.

Ramona Gyllenhaal...worst bangs in America.

Demi Moore was hospitalized for 'exhaustion'...aka an anorexia and drug induced mid life crisis in America.

Most un-hawt lesbian couple in America.

Happy National Peanut Butter Day to everyone in America!

Most foolish phone cover in America.

Neil Diamond born January 24, 1941

Happy Birthday Neil Diamond...Forever in Blue Jeans in America.

SHOUT OUT...BOO MEYERS!

Michael Strahan...biggest tooth gap in America.

Miley Cyrus covers Bob Dylan...blasphemous in America.

Cameron Diaz...ugliest wax figure in America.

Aaron Carter...biggest tool in America.

Kate Gosselin...most makeovers in America.

Johnny Depp as a vampire...suck my blood any day in America.

Firefighters...heroes in America.

Jessica Simpson...let's stick to solids and not prints for your pregnancy in America.

Believable in America.

Mark Wahlberg quoted in the February Men's Journal about 9/11 :''If I was on that plane, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry.'"

Oh I'm sorrrrrry...I didn't know you had your pilot's license and were an expert terrorist fighter...If only we could turn back time!?

Mark Wahlberg...jackass in America.

Awkward in America.

Rihanna and Chris Brown back together...good luck with that...once a beater always a beater in America.

Burger King will now deliver.

The obesity rate is 33.8% in America...

David Schwimmer...homeless in America.

Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne broke up...thank gah he got rid of crazy in America.

Ummm I am confused...I thought Beyonce was a black woman in America?

Kelly Osbourne...perhaps has jaundice in America.

Rihanna smokes a blunt in America.

Peter Dinklage...hottest midget in America.

Annnnd sorry ladies he is taken...married to a normal size woman in America.

Lindsey Lohan snuck into a Golden Globe party.

C-list at best in America.

WHY is Jessica Alba famous in America??

Happy MLK day...everyone should enjoy some 40s today in America.

Justin Bieber plays with dolls in America.

Paula Deen has diabetes...not surprising in America.

Jennifer Lopez is a terrorist in America.