McAllen-Edinburg-Mission, Texas...most obese metro area in America.

Original ER...greatest medical show ever in America.

American Reunion...REALLY!? Most unnecessary high school reunion in America.

WORST wedding photo in America.

Muhammad Ali...most terrified Miley victim in America.

Jessica Simpson...biggest pregnant bridesmaid in America.

Kim Kardashian was Flour Bombed...greatest bullying act in America.

March 22, 1933-President Roosevelt signs a bill legalizing the sale and possession of beer and wine...most spectacular day in America.

Carnie Wilson gets weight loss surgery AGAIN...epitome of what's wrong in America.

Casey Anthony...worst usage of the American Flag in America.

Miley Cyrus parked in handicap...grounds for deportation in America.

Elizabeth Berkley and Cindy Crawford...most surprising friendship in America.

Chap-et...best chap stick in America.

Kris Jenner posted this to wish Rob Kardashian a happy 25th birthday.

Worst mom photo blast in America.

Dog the Bounty Hunter...fattest bounty hunter in America.

Peyton Manning will be a Denver Bronco...See ya Tebow.

Tim Tebow...fakest religious one hit football wonder in America.

Ashley Judd...puffiest face in America.

George Clooney was arrested for participating in a protest outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington D.C.
Hottest protesting arrest in America.

Bobbi Kristina with her adopted brother...incest in America.

Hot Tub Boat...greatest boat in America.

(Shout out...McLean Brittingham)

So thankful to be living in America.

Coolest sunglasses in America.

Josh Duhamel...hottest mohawk in America.

Fattest earrings in America.

Camo cargo shorts...worst shorts in America.

Danny Devito and Lorax...identical twins in America.

Annnnd Zac Efron...too cool for school in America.

March 12, 1789...The United States Post Office was established.
One of the finest agencies in America.

Shia Labeouf...hottest terroist in America.

Curly Sue is all grown up, knocked up and got married in America.

HOW is she not on bed rest in America!?

Glad the carpet matches the drapes again in America.

Chris Brown...biggest prick in America.

Creepiest cult religion in America.

Most airbrushing ever in America.

Don't ever Hassel the Hoff in America.

Snooki procreating...should be beyond outlawed in America.

Praise the Lord...Jessica Simpson switched to flip flops in America.

March 2, 1836...Texas Independence Day

A great day in America.

Justin Beiber is 18 today...ladies, he is now legal in America.