Besse Cooper...oldest person in America/World.

MSN named Harlingen, Texas...cheapest city to live in America.

Most fabulous syrup in America.

Prince Harry and Ryan Lochte have a race in Vegas...greatest swim off in America.

Lochte won...Jeah in America.

And speaking of trainwrecks...Lindsay Lohan being her usual hot mess self in America.

I literally can not deal with Amanda Bynes...biggest trainwreck in America.

THESE two as the new American Idol judges...God help us all in America.

And seriously...why is this show still on the air in America!?

Suri...brattiest six year old in America.

Amanda Bynes...I am calling it...next crazy Britney Spears in America.

Best Vodka in America.

(Shout out Dan McCarthy!)

Steve Martin born 08.14.1945...Happy Birthday to the greatest Father of the Bride in America.



Ryan Lochte...biggest Olympic douche in America.

#jeah

I would rather never be married than have the worst Save the Date in America.

Dear Heather Locklear, Pigtails over the age of five are NOT okay. 



Act your age in America.

Amanda Bynes had her FOURTH hit and run...deadliest driver in America.